


catching ghosts

by titaniaeli



Category: Glee
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, a rather different mike chang
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-04
Updated: 2014-02-04
Packaged: 2018-01-11 04:09:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1168492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/titaniaeli/pseuds/titaniaeli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Between football, Glee Club, maintaining his straight As, his father’s expectations and coping with recurrent panic attacks that’s seriously interfering with his life and preventing any chance of him performing solo, Mike Chang still have to hide the fact that he’s Ghost, a member of a talented and enigmatic underground dance crew from everyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. prologue

Mike could admit one thing about himself. He’s terrible at making friends.

It wasn’t that he was shy. In fact, he _liked_ talking to people. He could be sociable if people would just give him the chance to. People just couldn’t deal with his random panic attacks even if they became close enough to be his friend.

Matt had been the only one who knew about his illness and stayed.

The first time he ever had a panic attack in front of Matt, the other boy had freaked out and started panicking along with him. He woke up in the hospital, Matt’s terrified face hovering above him. Apparently, the dark-skinned boy had called for an ambulance the moment he started shaking and crying and complaining of chest pain. He had been ashamed and embarrassed of falling apart in front of Matt, of allowing his new friend to see him in such an unsightly state.

Matt had immediately put an end to his worry and shame. Instead of running, he _stayed._ He even researched on panic disorder and anxiety and how to help him the next time he suffered an attack.

Matt has been his best friend ever since.

But Matt was gone now. He no longer has his anchor, no longer has something to hold on whenever he slipped into an attack.

The day Matt told him he was moving away, Mike was alone again.

Because without Matt, he was helpless. He was nothing. He had been far too dependent on his best friend for too long. It was like someone had stolen the one thing that kept him afloat for so long.

If it wasn’t for Matt, he’d probably have landed the same fate as Rachel and Kurt. It had been Matt who had coaxed him into joining the football team. And for nearly an entire year in high school, the Titans’ jersey protected and shielded him from bullies.

It had also been Matt who made the decision to join Glee, because even though he loved performing and dancing, he also wasn’t brave enough to take the step forward.

And now Matt was gone and had taken the second thing that made sense in his world with him. The first was dancing, but dancing doesn’t pull him back whenever he’s too far gone from reality. He remembered Matt’s last words before he left.

 

_“You do what you’ve always been doing. You continue on living as you are and doing whatever the hell you want, because you’re far stronger and braver than you think you are, Mike.”_

 

But Matt has always overestimated him, has time and time again put him on a pedestal. As if he was someone to be admired, as if he was something _more_ than a pretender afraid of his own shadow.

Matt left him, and he was alone again. Even in Glee in the beginning, he was an outcast. Known only as the quiet Asian jock that was adequate in dancing and not much talent in the singing department.

Alright, so he was used to the stigma that followed him wherever he goes. No one ever bothered to look beyond after all, except for Matt.

Even the ‘losers’ of McKinley couldn’t be bothered with trying to understand him.

And yeah, he might be used to being treated as invisible. After all, he was destined to be a bystander for the rest of his life. The only time he ever got to be the _star,_ to be in the limelight, was when he was Ghost.

He wasn’t even dancing as Mike Chang, for god’s sake. It was sad (and maybe a little pathetic) that the only time anyone would ever want to look at him was when he was wearing a mask.

So yeah, maybe he wasn’t expecting much from Glee or anyone else after Matt left before summer vacation (and what a fucking great way to start off the holiday).

And things were probably not going to change in his junior year either. He‘s going to start a new year back to school as usual. Focus on his studies, juggle football and Glee after school, deal with being shoved to a role of a backup singer in Glee, perform as Ghost with the rest of his dance crew, run himself ragged without Matt around to drag him back, chugged back cups and cups of coffee to keep himself energized and awake and run the risk of triggering a full-blown panic attack in the middle of class. 

Yeah, he got things fully under control.

Things were going to be the same as sophomore year, and yeah maybe there’s the addition of Glee Club and having to figure out what he’s going to do after graduation, but he wasn’t expecting anything exciting or interesting coming his way.

It was almost hilarious, to think that things were going to stay the same in junior year. A couple of years in the future, he might look back and laughed about how his last two years in McKinley turned out to be such an emotional rollercoaster ride filled with drama worse than a stage play of Romeo and Juliet, and how half of his closest friends came to be his chosen family by saving him, one way or another.  

But then again, he still doesn’t know that yet. 


	2. Chapter 2

“–If you’re not here in five minutes, I’m going to fucking kill you!” the female voice on the other end of his line screamed. “You’re opening the act. We can’t start without you!”

“I’m already here!” he winced, his lungs protesting as he slipped into an alleyway and dashed towards the huge metal doors at the other end. He flashed his admittance card at the bouncer, who narrowed his eyes at him suspiciously but yet opened the doors to allow him through.

“Mascarada!” he gasped at the manager, who barely glanced at him before jerking his head to a door behind the bar counter. He thanked the manager distractedly before disappearing behind the door. It led to a long corridor hectic with performers rushing around busily.

“God damn you’re finally here, Ghost,” A tall woman with a head full of waves of long golden hair snarled as she stalked angrily towards him. She shoved a masquerade mask into his hand, gesturing furiously at him to quickly don it on. It was a white eye mask made of papier-mâché, simple and plain in design. Just an ordinary white masquerade mask, but it perfectly reflected his persona on stage. He slipped on the mask, leaving only the bottom part of his face exposed.

“Good evening to you too, Queen.” He muttered, with just the slightest tinge of sarcasm colouring his tone as he followed her. Like him, she was wearing a white masquerade mask, but unlike him, hers was more elaborate and complicated. To mirror her persona, her mask was regal and queenly, silver glitter decorating the edges of her mask and delicate twirls forming a crown-like effect in the center of her forehead.

“Watch it, Ghost, this is the _sixth_ time you’re late this month!” she hissed, dragging him towards a small group of people. They were each wearing a piece of white masquerade mask similar to Queen and his, but they were all in varying designs.

“I have _school_.” He nearly shouted. “And every time you got us a gig, they are all nowhere near to my school! Will it kill you to find somewhere nearer to my location?”

“Alright, enough, the both of you!” Harlequin interrupted loudly, stepping in between the both of them. He was a tall, gruff man estimated to be in his late twenties who donned a harlequin-like mask with black and white triangle patterns on the smooth surface.

Queen’s blue eyes gave him one last vexed glare, but she backed down. He sighed and dropped his bag, taking the leather jacket that Harlequin handed to him.

“Let’s get the party started.” He grinned, slipping the jacket over his checked shirt. The rest of the crew mirrored his excited smile as they followed him out into the stage.

The crowd went wild as he appeared. He felt the thrill and adrenaline washed over him as he opened the show, Adventure Club blasting from the sound system. He embraced the cheering and screams, breathing in the sheer joy and fever in the air as he closed his eyes and danced to an audience that received him with admiration. It was a feeling more potent than happiness and satisfaction, and it was the only thing that made living worth it.

 


End file.
